"Now Thomas (also known as Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. S the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord!"
But he said to them, "Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe."
A Week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!" Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here, see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe."
Thomas sad to him, "My Lord and my God!"
Then Jesus told him "Because you have believed; blessed re those who have not seen and yet have believed."
_______________________
My full names is: Robert Thomas Brendan (Conformation name) Bobalik, and what a fitting middle name I have! This story is a reflection of life as I know it, the countless times that I just struggled to believe, struggled to push through, struggled to grasp God everlasting love even in the midst of Worship. I feel like often times we read these stories, and even teach them to our children in such a way that we use the Disciples as things NOT to do toward God...as if we were better. And yes, I agree that we should learn for our Brothers in Christ, but even more so I think it shows the reality of the situation and the honest emotion of a broken world in the midst of a loving, merciful God.
I have said it before and I will say it again: those hours waiting for Christ to rise must have been the most agonizing, excoriating hours of their lives. The man that that had devoted years of their lives to, followed, learned from, a man who the LEFT THEIR FAMILIES for was now dead. They waited anxiously to find out if this Jesus was truly the Messiah or just a very charismatic psychopath. But in light of all of their fears, and as promised Jesus Christ, the Messiah rose from the dead defeating death!
In just the passage before Jesus had appeared to ten of the Disciples making peace with them and breathing into them The Holy Spirit giving them the power to forgive sins. I can not even begin to imagine the excitement they had after this encounter with the risen Lord and they joy in telling Thomas the great news. When Thomas joined with the Disciples they shared the great news of Jesus Resurrection leaving Thomas skeptical of the information. Thomas with raw honesty shared that without physical proof that he would not believe that Jesus of Nazareth had truly risen from the grave. In the Gospel of Luke when he accounts this event and Jesus ask the Disciples why they have such doubtful minds. (Luke 24:38 "He said to them 'Why are you troubled, and why do doubts rise in your mind?'"). We are so quick to call Thomas, "Doubting Thomas" forgetting it was all the Disciples that has doubted. I feel like sometimes we put that to easily on a "Things not to do as a Christian" learning card. We often fail to give Thomas enough credit for being honest with his own walk with the Lord. He shared with his brothers, his church, that he struggled to believe in the resurrection where the others kept it to themselves.
One week after Jesus had first appeared to the Disciples he joined them once again. The doors were locked, the Disciples were all gathered and Jesus appeared to the bunch and spoke to Thomas. -SIDE NOTE-Reread the passage...we learn about Thomas putting his hands in the side of Christ....thats not in there! Granted we were not there but it does not say it ;-) -END SIDE NOTE. The first words out of Jesus mouth were: "Peace be with you"...Jesus...wishing peace on his Disciples...crazy. I dont know if they would bring them peace or more anxiety in their minds like "Holy cows! Its Jesus!!". He then proceeds to invite Thomas to do the exact thing that he said would be his only proof in the matter. The Bible does not state wether or not Thomas took him up on his offer but I don't think he has to anymore. I think a week prior he was shookin up, hurt, distrait and trying to be a "big tough guy." I wont believe you until I have MY PROOF! And then Jesus standing there, directly in front of him was enough. He had the chance to look Christ directly in the eyes and feel that peace that he has wished upon him. My guess...there might have been some tears, hugging...maybe a cool handshake. (Insert Big Hero 6 noise here). And then he uttered the words...."My Lord"...."And My God!". Could there be a two fold meaning in his exclamation, more depth then just the praises of his name? What a glorious thing that Christ was in his midst but it possible be that his words "My Lord and My God" were a confession of his doubt, an apology, a reconciliation with his Messiah, his Lord, his Savior? In saying those few words Thomas allowed Jesus to enter into him and give him the peace that he truly needed from the inside out. The next part probably his Thomas pretty hard, leaving him a little messed up. Jesus told Thomas that because he saw Christ be believed...but blessed are those who do not see yet believe. What a powerful statement to hear from Christ, right after doubting him. I bet Thomas left that room with a few things on his mind.
What an amazing God we serve that even in the midst of our doubt, our struggles, our fears he entered into those locked parts of our hearts, wishes peace on us and helps make Himself real to us. Just as Jesus appeared to the Disciples in locked rooms, hiding away fearful of what the world might do to them, Christ to enters into our locked hearts to rescue us. I like to teach that the people we learn about are not heroes or celebrities, they are not these all mighty people we put on pedestals...but instead THEY ARE PEOPLE! They are simply people that were on the timeline before us, who all walked the walk of faith we do today. Their walk may have looked a little different depending where it history they were but at one time God called them and they had the choice to run to or away from him. Thomas was not the first doubter of God ability, nor would he be the last. We love telling the story of Moses parting the Red Sea but don't like to talk about his death right outside the Promise Land because he doubted God's power after everything he had done. Doubt is a very real thing in our lives that if you have not yet struggled with you will.
I struggle with life a lot, where I should be, what I should be doing, am I doing the right things? I have doubts about staying in on place, or moving. I have doubts in God's plan for my life often. I will be faithful to His call but I will also be very honest with you...sometimes I doubt God's plan and think it sucks. I do not necessarily need to put my fingers into his side but I ask that if transitions are to be made, make them easy, show me people I can connect with. I ask that my heart would be easy and that I can drift away unnoticed. Am I proud of my request no...not the slightest. Am I ashamed of being a teacher and fearing God's plan...a little. But I am also coming to find that the more I let Christ and others into the locked parts of my house and stop fearing the world and God's call on my life the more I can experience the peace He wishes upon us. We will all face the day when we doubt, when we do not want to be obedient to his call...but Christ tells us that "Blessed are those who have not seen yet believe." We have an amazing, all powerful, ever forgiving God that although in the midst of our struggles, our doubts and our mistrust...in our begging for proof he appears with a smile and a blessing of peace. He offers that proof...but he also ask...."Robert...should I be enough proof for you. Trust and believing in me...I will never leave or forsake you.(Deuteronomy 31:6) ."
No comments:
Post a Comment