The more you study about living a life truly in Christ the harder it becomes. Seems kind of funny, you would think that the more educated you become in something the easier it is. I go through life with these high and lows in my life. I let the enemy in far to often and God in not nearly enough. I let peoples words effect me more then they really should, even if their words from friends and family who are not meant to be hurtful. I fear often times I focus to much on what people think about me more then what the Lord thinks of me. I am not simply talking about how people feel about the way I dress or the way I dance around silly at Kids Klub. I struggle with the approval for the life style that I am trying to lead. As I write this it sounds silly to me that I even struggle with such an issue. I for some reason long to have my families approval for going into ministry, even when some of them are slightly against it. Now please do not get me wrong, I am going into ministry to try to look good to man, or to make my parents love and approve of me more. I know that I am going into ministry to serve the Lord. But I still can not shake when things like my father are so against it.
On top of these minor struggle I preach so often to so many people that we just need to trust in the Lord and he will provide and the Lord has for me time after time and yet I still struggle with trust. It seems lately that my world finical is falling apart all around me. I know that some how I will get around this, I always do the Lord always pulls me up when I fall I still fear for some reason, And some might read this and tell me, well its normal to fear and worry. I want to be beyond that and above that. I need to get life in check where I do not have these fears. If I am serving the Lord fully it should also be with my fiances and this is the section that I am living one of the most unbiblically.
I think another things that is weighing so much on my heart right now is my ability to ministry and lead others. I am letting the enemy attack me far to strongly in this field. I feel horribly about a gentlemen calling me from Tims House and I keep avoiding the calling. He wants guidance, prayer and me to tell him Gods way. I should be able to do this, I should not be so bothered by helping. And it is not so much I am scared of talking to people it is more the fact that my elder is coming to me for the Lords guidance. But how can I expect to go into ministry and possibly become a Pastor if I can not mentor. The Lord does not put things into our lives by accident and I know he keeps thumping my on the head I can feel it.
Theses are my confession I am putting them before you and most importantly before the Lord. Please pray that I can overcome these problems. Please pray that I grow spiritually so that I am able to lead anybody that comes to me. I know the Lords will and that I am called to serve His people. Please pray that I can become strong enough to hold my armor and sword and stand strong against the enemy.
I pray for you and your walk in Christ
Robert, My Brother in Christ,
ReplyDeleteAs I read this I was wondering if you ever reread any of your own blogs. As I read your blogs I take some note. Here are some of my notes. These are your own words. You’re very own words, that help so many people. They help me greatly. As I learn from them.
Thursday November 24th
Ephesians 1:15:23
“James tells us that we are to be thankful for the good times and the bad and that God uses even the worst moments in our life to make His Glory known to the world.”
Wednesday September 14th
2 Corinthians 6:14-18-7:1
“In this passage we see our called to stand out amongst the crowd.”
“But just look, just like it is not ok to have even the smallest bit of dog poop in the brownies it is not ok to have even the smallest amount of sin in our lives”
Saturday July 30th (one of my favorite blogs & Bible passage)
Matthew 10:21-42
“ Human beings love thrills, we bungee jump and sky dive, we do crazy things like run with the bulls and swim with sharks. We love to live life on the wild side, full or risk and sometime even pushing the boundaries or death. Why then are we so afraid to like a genuine Christian faith? Matthew tells us that our faith in Christ should be so strong that families turn against each other, sons against fathers and mothers against daughters. Jesus basically says that He is not coming to bring peace but to shake things up! To truly love Christ your own family must be of less significance and that anyone who loves their own parents more then Christ then they are not worth of Christ. “
“Before I go on I want you to write a list of the five most important things in your life and number them the 1 being the most important 5 being the lesser. Make this list truthfully, nobody will ever see it...ready...set...go. (1. Family 2. My Faith (God) 3. Friends 4. Work 5. Caffeine). “
“ A life in Christ is a life of adventure and risk, going where Christ calls you not being afraid to follow.”
“ A call to follow Christ is so revolutionary, so extraordinary, so ODD that people will not truly understand. Your life style will be so different then that of societies that you will become an outcast. The life style of Christ is so...RADICAL (I stole that from
every book I read so no credit here.)...that people will try to turn you away from it”
“Which is where we begin to see what Christ is talking about, brothers
will turn against fathers and daughter against mothers. A life in Christ is not normal and it will scare people. Often times when people do not understand something that go on the defensive and that misunderstanding is now an enemy. To live truly and completely in Christ is to live completely for Christ. “
“As we are called to live a life in Christ we should not be afraid to go where we are called, the Lord tells us that He watches out for even the smallest of sparrows so will he take care of us. God will always protect us everywhere we go and if we hold strong through all our hardship with Lord reward us greatly. “
Comment 1 cont…
ReplyDeleteNow once again I will remind you these are your words, coming from the inspiration of the Lord.
I’ve been struggling in many ways similar to yours here. I was advised and was told “you’re still an apprentice” meaning I have so much more to learn about Christ and my faith. Then as I did much more of my thinking and refection on the life of Christ, Jesus himself didn’t start being with the people until he was in his 30’s!
Don’t live in Fear. Breathe, mediate, and focus on others around you. Immerse yourself in all the ways Christ LOVED. Give yourself time to be patient. The dollar bill is not worth anything compared to the soul inside another. If your finical problems cause you to loose things, just remember “The Lord is my Sheppard there is nothing I shall want” and he will show you what you need.
And as for that gentleman you spoke of, maybe through his struggle you can learn from him just as much as he is going to learn from you. Give him a chance, see Christ is all people.
Live radically and peacefully at the same time Robert.
And again Christ will shine His light threw you and I’m sure he does every moment of your life with Him.
Always Praying for you.